Sunday, September 12, 2010
Letters to Waldo
9/9/2010
What can I say, Waldo? She left us. I know that you miss her, but she’s not coming back. It’s been a month since she moved away. Things had seemed fine to me. I believed her when she told me she was too busy to call. I thought I would only have to look after you until she was ready for you.
She emailed me last night; she broke up with me, and she abandoned you. She told me never to contact her again, and she said she did not want you or care what became of you. Her email, so direct and so terse, came as such a shock to me.
Break ups are hard for me, Waldo, but what hurts me the most is that she has completely cut me out of her life. She removed any possibility that I will ever get an explanation of how she feels and what she thinks. By cutting off contact she made clear she does not care that I’m in pain, and she is not interested in what happens to you.
I’m so sorry Waldo. You’re getting the worst end of the deal. Although I’m hurting, I can take care of myself in this world, as long as I find the will. As a cat, you are dependent on the good will of humans, the kindness of your owner. And she has carelessly discarded you.
Now I’m in a difficult position. I am sorry she tossed you aside, but it is hard for me forget her when you remind me so much of her. All of my memories of you are intertwined with that of her. I’ve never considered giving you away for a second, but I know it will be a strain on my heart to keep on loving and caring for you, while I heal from the wounds she gave me.
I’m scared of what lies ahead. I’m glad we still have each other.
9/9/2010
I know I look stupid, Waldo. I should have seen this coming. I feel like a disposable fool for letting her use me and discard me. I had been lonely; I had wanted to feel the love of another human, so I entered into a relationship with a selfish young woman. I walked around in a daze all day feeling like a chump.
When I came home from work, you were still there for me. You were so excited to see me. You consoled me when everybody else would have just laughed at me or avoided me. Your love is unconditional.
Humans aren’t all that you might think we are. The love of a person is capricious, and always comes with conditions. She only loved me as long as I was nearby. She only loved me while I could give her nice things, or do nice things for her. Once those terms were no longer met, her love was gone. The love of a human always has strings attached, and the love of an animal has none. I’m sorry that we cannot live up to you.
In return for your unjudgmental love, you are completely dependent on our kindness to survive. It is because you need me that I freely take care of you, and will care for you for as long as I am able. I am so sad for you, and so disappointed at her, that she chose to abandon you when you counted on her for protection. You can tell a lot about a person by how they treat an animal.
Thanks Waldo. You’ve taught me so much about people, and about love.
9/10/2010
I felt so sad when I woke up this morning, Waldo. I resented what she did to me, and what she did to you. I felt angry and hurt. In a way, my love for her had conditions too. I always knew that one day we could break up, but I expected her to be gentle and communicative about it. Instead, she unilaterally dumped me and cruelly cut off contact. I felt betrayed.
Break ups are a part of most human relationships. Over time and with experience, I’ve come to feel that they should be done a certain way. My first girlfriend left me in similar circumstances as your ex-owner. She left me for another guy, and cut off contact. I don’t really call that a break up, Waldo. I call that abandonment.
I think that a break up is a process that two people do together, through communication. The person that has lost their love for the other owes it to them to explain their thoughts and feelings. Were I leaving a girlfriend, I would remain there for her as a friend, though no longer a lover, if and as long as she needed me. Often for humans, what we do does not matter as much as how we do it.
Instead, we live in a world where people find it easier to abandon each other, and abandon you and your animal brethren. We are often guilty of doing what is easiest for us, with no thought of how we affect others, human or animal. We humans even abandon our own children to the streets, and our parents to nursing homes, because sometimes that’s just easier. I’m sorry we are so imperfect.
I know that you understand the things that matter the most. Friendship, love, betrayal; even if you never speak, you know what they are. I know you felt betrayed by her when she left you for good. You saw this coming before I did. You were so sad these past few weeks, and you clung to me desperately. You followed me around our little apartment, sitting on my feet when I’m working, and watching from next to me while I did the dishes. You sat on my lap. You never did that before.
I know that you felt sad and betrayed, but I know you would never hold it against her. If she were to reappear at the door, you would happily greet her as if she had only been gone for the day. Just as you love unconditionally, you forgive unconditionally.
I find what she did to us cruel and irresponsible. But I’ve decided I want to become more like you. I forgive her unconditionally. I forgive her even though she has not even left the possibility of telling her that I do. I forgive her no matter how much longer I will be hurting. I forgive her, because you would do the same.
I feel like a tremendous burden has been lifted, and I feel so much better. No wonder you are always so light on your feet, Waldo.
9/11/2010
I’m happy to see that you’re more active Waldo. It rained so hard on the night she sent me that email. Now, with the humidity, the bugs have started to come out, and some of them come into our apartment. You get so excited when that happens. You chase them around like it’s the greatest thing in the world. I help you get at the ones that stick to the ceiling. You look lively and happy, and I’m so relieved that you’re feeling better.
I still felt sad this morning, but since I forgave her I no longer felt any anger or resentment. It is just the pure helpless sadness of knowing that she is gone, and has forever closed the door between us. It gives me strength to see that you are already moving on, and again it makes me want to follow in your example. Otherwise it would be hard to get out of bed and start my day.
I hope I’ve been remembering to feed you regularly. Your food bowl is never empty, so I think you’re alright. I’ve been neglecting to feed myself, because most of the time, I don’t want to eat. I used to enjoy cooking very much, Waldo. Ever since I met her, I would spend hours cooking something nice for her. Since I didn’t eat any meat, and she did, I would make myself something simple as an afterthought. Now, I don’t even feel like doing that.
Sometimes I envy your carefree life, chasing your bugs and napping whenever you want. We humans have responsibilities, and we must live up to them whether we want to or not. We have to, because others depend on us. It doesn’t matter how I feel, I still have to go to work so I can continue to support you. I have to feed myself and keep myself healthy, so I will still be there for you. If for no other reason than that, I’m going to go make myself something to eat, and go accomplish something useful today. In a way, you feed me as much as I feed you. Thanks Waldo.
9/12/2010
Of course it’s obvious there was somebody else, Waldo. Most long distance relationships ultimately end in infidelity. The way she acted toward me, and the way she handled the final break up/abandonment was nearly identical to the way my first girlfriend left me. I’m sorry to say it is pathetic, because my first girlfriend was 17 at the time, and your ex-owner is turning 23 in a week. I didn’t realize she was so immature.
I understand what went through her head. She does not want her new boyfriend from knowing too much about her past. She doesn’t want her very recent history with me to complicate her new relationship in any way. Having moved to a new town, she wants to start with a clean slate, and she is willing to do anything to me to have me disappear from her life.
It’s acceptable to me that she would want a boyfriend living close by, over me. I do truly care about her, and I only want what is best for her. I still do. I forgive her completely, and I don’t feel any resentment that she left me for another.
It was unnecessary for her to cut me off from contact in order to get what she wanted. She is afraid that I might somehow interfere in her new relationship, but that is misguided. If she had given me the chance to communicate, I would have respected her decision to leave for someone else, and I would not have tried to change her mind. I would have offered my friendship and support in times of need, with no strings attached. But I will never get to tell her that.
By keeping open the channel of friendship, she could have stayed a part of your life. I would never use you to try to manipulate her in any way; I genuinely thought you were important to her. Even if she wanted to hear nothing about me, I would still freely offer her updates about you, and any pictures she wished to see. Instead she said she just doesn’t care about you.
You’re very strong, Waldo. I’m happy to see you’re moving on faster than I am. I know that you loved her much more than you loved me. I think we are developing a closer relationship now, and I am thankful for that. She did not want my friendship. I’m grateful to have yours.
9/9/2010
What can I say, Waldo? She left us. I know that you miss her, but she’s not coming back. It’s been a month since she moved away. Things had seemed fine to me. I believed her when she told me she was too busy to call. I thought I would only have to look after you until she was ready for you.
She emailed me last night; she broke up with me, and she abandoned you. She told me never to contact her again, and she said she did not want you or care what became of you. Her email, so direct and so terse, came as such a shock to me.
Break ups are hard for me, Waldo, but what hurts me the most is that she has completely cut me out of her life. She removed any possibility that I will ever get an explanation of how she feels and what she thinks. By cutting off contact she made clear she does not care that I’m in pain, and she is not interested in what happens to you.
I’m so sorry Waldo. You’re getting the worst end of the deal. Although I’m hurting, I can take care of myself in this world, as long as I find the will. As a cat, you are dependent on the good will of humans, the kindness of your owner. And she has carelessly discarded you.
Now I’m in a difficult position. I am sorry she tossed you aside, but it is hard for me forget her when you remind me so much of her. All of my memories of you are intertwined with that of her. I’ve never considered giving you away for a second, but I know it will be a strain on my heart to keep on loving and caring for you, while I heal from the wounds she gave me.
I’m scared of what lies ahead. I’m glad we still have each other.
9/9/2010
I know I look stupid, Waldo. I should have seen this coming. I feel like a disposable fool for letting her use me and discard me. I had been lonely; I had wanted to feel the love of another human, so I entered into a relationship with a selfish young woman. I walked around in a daze all day feeling like a chump.
When I came home from work, you were still there for me. You were so excited to see me. You consoled me when everybody else would have just laughed at me or avoided me. Your love is unconditional.
Humans aren’t all that you might think we are. The love of a person is capricious, and always comes with conditions. She only loved me as long as I was nearby. She only loved me while I could give her nice things, or do nice things for her. Once those terms were no longer met, her love was gone. The love of a human always has strings attached, and the love of an animal has none. I’m sorry that we cannot live up to you.
In return for your unjudgmental love, you are completely dependent on our kindness to survive. It is because you need me that I freely take care of you, and will care for you for as long as I am able. I am so sad for you, and so disappointed at her, that she chose to abandon you when you counted on her for protection. You can tell a lot about a person by how they treat an animal.
Thanks Waldo. You’ve taught me so much about people, and about love.
9/10/2010
I felt so sad when I woke up this morning, Waldo. I resented what she did to me, and what she did to you. I felt angry and hurt. In a way, my love for her had conditions too. I always knew that one day we could break up, but I expected her to be gentle and communicative about it. Instead, she unilaterally dumped me and cruelly cut off contact. I felt betrayed.
Break ups are a part of most human relationships. Over time and with experience, I’ve come to feel that they should be done a certain way. My first girlfriend left me in similar circumstances as your ex-owner. She left me for another guy, and cut off contact. I don’t really call that a break up, Waldo. I call that abandonment.
I think that a break up is a process that two people do together, through communication. The person that has lost their love for the other owes it to them to explain their thoughts and feelings. Were I leaving a girlfriend, I would remain there for her as a friend, though no longer a lover, if and as long as she needed me. Often for humans, what we do does not matter as much as how we do it.
Instead, we live in a world where people find it easier to abandon each other, and abandon you and your animal brethren. We are often guilty of doing what is easiest for us, with no thought of how we affect others, human or animal. We humans even abandon our own children to the streets, and our parents to nursing homes, because sometimes that’s just easier. I’m sorry we are so imperfect.
I know that you understand the things that matter the most. Friendship, love, betrayal; even if you never speak, you know what they are. I know you felt betrayed by her when she left you for good. You saw this coming before I did. You were so sad these past few weeks, and you clung to me desperately. You followed me around our little apartment, sitting on my feet when I’m working, and watching from next to me while I did the dishes. You sat on my lap. You never did that before.
I know that you felt sad and betrayed, but I know you would never hold it against her. If she were to reappear at the door, you would happily greet her as if she had only been gone for the day. Just as you love unconditionally, you forgive unconditionally.
I find what she did to us cruel and irresponsible. But I’ve decided I want to become more like you. I forgive her unconditionally. I forgive her even though she has not even left the possibility of telling her that I do. I forgive her no matter how much longer I will be hurting. I forgive her, because you would do the same.
I feel like a tremendous burden has been lifted, and I feel so much better. No wonder you are always so light on your feet, Waldo.
9/11/2010
I’m happy to see that you’re more active Waldo. It rained so hard on the night she sent me that email. Now, with the humidity, the bugs have started to come out, and some of them come into our apartment. You get so excited when that happens. You chase them around like it’s the greatest thing in the world. I help you get at the ones that stick to the ceiling. You look lively and happy, and I’m so relieved that you’re feeling better.
I still felt sad this morning, but since I forgave her I no longer felt any anger or resentment. It is just the pure helpless sadness of knowing that she is gone, and has forever closed the door between us. It gives me strength to see that you are already moving on, and again it makes me want to follow in your example. Otherwise it would be hard to get out of bed and start my day.
I hope I’ve been remembering to feed you regularly. Your food bowl is never empty, so I think you’re alright. I’ve been neglecting to feed myself, because most of the time, I don’t want to eat. I used to enjoy cooking very much, Waldo. Ever since I met her, I would spend hours cooking something nice for her. Since I didn’t eat any meat, and she did, I would make myself something simple as an afterthought. Now, I don’t even feel like doing that.
Sometimes I envy your carefree life, chasing your bugs and napping whenever you want. We humans have responsibilities, and we must live up to them whether we want to or not. We have to, because others depend on us. It doesn’t matter how I feel, I still have to go to work so I can continue to support you. I have to feed myself and keep myself healthy, so I will still be there for you. If for no other reason than that, I’m going to go make myself something to eat, and go accomplish something useful today. In a way, you feed me as much as I feed you. Thanks Waldo.
9/12/2010
Of course it’s obvious there was somebody else, Waldo. Most long distance relationships ultimately end in infidelity. The way she acted toward me, and the way she handled the final break up/abandonment was nearly identical to the way my first girlfriend left me. I’m sorry to say it is pathetic, because my first girlfriend was 17 at the time, and your ex-owner is turning 23 in a week. I didn’t realize she was so immature.
I understand what went through her head. She does not want her new boyfriend from knowing too much about her past. She doesn’t want her very recent history with me to complicate her new relationship in any way. Having moved to a new town, she wants to start with a clean slate, and she is willing to do anything to me to have me disappear from her life.
It’s acceptable to me that she would want a boyfriend living close by, over me. I do truly care about her, and I only want what is best for her. I still do. I forgive her completely, and I don’t feel any resentment that she left me for another.
It was unnecessary for her to cut me off from contact in order to get what she wanted. She is afraid that I might somehow interfere in her new relationship, but that is misguided. If she had given me the chance to communicate, I would have respected her decision to leave for someone else, and I would not have tried to change her mind. I would have offered my friendship and support in times of need, with no strings attached. But I will never get to tell her that.
By keeping open the channel of friendship, she could have stayed a part of your life. I would never use you to try to manipulate her in any way; I genuinely thought you were important to her. Even if she wanted to hear nothing about me, I would still freely offer her updates about you, and any pictures she wished to see. Instead she said she just doesn’t care about you.
You’re very strong, Waldo. I’m happy to see you’re moving on faster than I am. I know that you loved her much more than you loved me. I think we are developing a closer relationship now, and I am thankful for that. She did not want my friendship. I’m grateful to have yours.
