Lost In Me

The past week has been incredibly exhausting, and being tired and moody tonight I'm thinking again of J, the one person who has made me hurt more than I ever have, for longer than I ever have. Looking back, it was understandable for her to leave me for somebody she saw more of a future with, but the contempt and animosity that she showed towards me afterwards was uncalled for, and left scars that hurt me still, that hurt me tonight. What she did wasn't as important to me as how she did it... she was completely uncaring after betraying the trust that she had begged me for, and left me to deal with the scars alone. The way she chose to break my heart was simply brutal. I still feel betrayed because I was betrayed, and I still feel abandoned because I was abandoned.

Every day, for more than a year now, I've lived with pain always by my side. And I feel as if a year of my life has been stolen.